Being a teacher means embracing constant change. Yet all too often, teachers are told when, how and why to change. In this monthly column, Mrs. Mimi takes on creating change for herself by rethinking old practices and redefining teaching on her own terms. 

Happy New Year, everyone! (Although, really, I see the world through the eyes of a teacher and therefore firmly think of the “new year” as starting in September, but we can roll with convention a bit, can’t we?)

p: DonkeyHotey via photopin cc

How are you doing on making (and keeping) those resolutions? Broke one already? Have yet to come up with one? Well, I have an idea to add to the list. You ready? Stop self-bullying.

Let me explain…

As teachers, we feel an incredible responsibility to not only teach our small fries how to read, but to teach them to love reading. We push them to expand their choices as readers as we encourage them to come back to certain classics. We stay up late, thinking about our current strugglers and how we can get them to make progress without hating to read. In short, we walk a fine line between staying strong in our convictions about best practice and constantly beating ourselves up when students struggle.

Personally, I think the teachers that can reflect on the short-comings of their own practice make some of the best teachers. So go ahead and continue to beat yourself up a bit from time to time. This is not what I consider “self-bullying.”

When I say “self-bullying,” I am referring to all those little comments we make about ourselves as teachers that consistently belittle, demean or minimize our successes. A few examples:

You are an organizational goddess, yet, when someone walks into your classroom and remarks on your off-the-charts organization, you say, “Oh no. It’s such a mess in here. I’m always such a mess. Look at those piles!”

You rock behavior management, yet when someone mentions how well behaved your class was in the hallway, you say, “They were just gearing up for later! They are NEVER like that.”

You own the teaching of math, yet when someone comments on the progress your students are making, you say, “They would do this well with anyone. I’m not special.”

Why do we feel the need to duck compliments? I don’t think it is as simple as being humble.

It’s like we are afraid to stand out as successful. But if we struggle to own our successes and choose instead to focus on our short-comings, how can we expect our students to do any differently? I’m all for being honest about our flaws and for constantly setting goals to improve instruction. Yet, in the spirit of the new year, let’s try to commit to ending the self-bullying and be honest about our successes as well.

Mrs. Mimi is a pseudonymous teacher who taught both first and second grades at a public elementary school in New York City. She's the author of IT'S NOT ALL FLOWERS AND SAUSAGES: MY ADVENTURES IN SECOND GRADE, which sprung from her popular blog of the same name. Mimi also has her doctorate in education from Teachers College, Columbia University.